Link to Emotions Anonymous - Greensboro & Winston-Salem, NC meetings (another 12-step fellowship)
Some of Our Materials
Serenity Prayer | 12 Steps | Characteristics | Promises
Link to an excellent article on relationship addiction
Download our literature (a single
Includes our meeting format and newcomer's brochure.
Format includes material from both AA and Robin Norwood's book (see below).
Feel free to use these in any way you find helpful.
A small, unaffiliated Twelve-Step support group in Greensboro, NC for people who recognize a pattern of unhealthy relationships in their lives and want to learn how to live differently. A safe, anonymous, respectful environment stressing self-worth, self-knowledge, self-care and healthy boundaries. You are not alone unless you choose to be. Come and see if our group works for you. Non-smoking.
Our literature is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous (we follow the AA program of recovery), and from Robin Norwood's "Women Who Love Too Much" (with changes to apply to both men and women). We maintain a small lending library of books and tapes about relationships and recovery from relationship addiction.
We meet every Saturday morning from 10:30am to noon. Newcomers are always welcome, and our meetings are open to all.
Location: Congregational United
Church of Christ, 400 W. Radiance Dr., Greensboro, NC, 27403. We meet in the Parlor. The
church is one block off the intersection of Friendly Road and Radiance Drive.
Directions: From central Greensboro, head out Friendly Road. Radiance Drive is at the stop light just past Ham's Restaurant (now closed). Turn right; church is a short block on left. Park on West Radiance Drive; enter by upper-level side door. Parlor is straight ahead, then left.
Phone (info): (336) 227-0917 (leave message if necessary; we will return your call)
Email (info): GreensboroRA@email.com
Contact: Art @ (336) 227-0917, or email above - or just come!
from 10:30am - noon (Greensboro)
Cost: Free (small voluntary contribution; newcomers are asked not to contribute).
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God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
An Alternate Serenity Prayer (for Codependents and Relationship Addicts)
God, grant me the serenity
to accept people for who they are,
the courage to change the only person I can,
and the wisdom to know that person is me.
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Relationships Anonymous 12 Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over
relationships; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other relationship addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Stage Two Recovery: A New Way of Life (Steps to Personal and Spiritual Growth)
1. Admitted that our lives lacked depth and
meaning and were significantly dysfunctional.
2. Came to believe that a Spiritual Power within ourselves could fill this void.
3. Made a decision to enter into a new relationship with this Spiritual Power.
4. Made a searching and fearless attempt to discover the reality of ourselves.
5. Communicated to our Spiritual Power, ourselves generally and a friend what we had discovered.
6. Were entirely ready to let our Spiritual Power help us reach our fuller potential.
7. Humbly asked our Spiritual Power for insight and guidance in this quest.
8. Made a list of all our relationships in need of healing and became open to new attitudes and behaviors.
9. Reached out to these people in new and healthy ways, when to do so would not injure anyone including ourselves.
10. Continued to explore our inner depth and richness honestly and to share our self-knowledge with others.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to deepen our new relationship with our Spritual Power, praying only for continued awareness of reality and the strength to act in accordance with it.
12. Having grown spiritually and personally as the result of these steps, we tried to witness these insights to others and live this new way of life on a daily basis.
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Characteristics of Relationship Addiction (Robin Norwood)
1. Typically we come from dysfunctional homes
in whch our emotional needs were not met.
2. Having received little real nurturing ourselves, we try to fill this unmet need vicariously by becoming caregivers, especially to people who appear, in some way, needy.
3. Because we were never able to change our parent(s) into the warm, loving caretakers we longed for, we respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally unavailable person whom we can again try to change, through our love.
4. Terrified of abandonment, we will do anyting to keep a relationship from dissolving.
5. Almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time, or is too expensive it it will "help" the person we are involved with.
6. Accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships, we are willing to wait, hope and try harder to please.
7. We are willing to take far more than 50 percent of the responsibility, guilt and blame in any relationship.
8. Our self-esteem is critically low, and deep inside we do not believe we deserve to be happy. Rather, we believe we must earn the right to enjoy life.
9. We have a desperate need to control people and our relationships, having experienced little security in childhood. We mask our efforts to control people and situations as "being helpful."
10. In a relationship, we are much more in touch with our dream of how it could be than with the reality of our situation.
11. We are addicted to people and to emotional pain.
12. We may be predisposed emotionally, and often biochemcally, to becoming addicted to drugs, alcohol, and/or certain foods, particularly sugary ones.
13. By being drawn to people with problems that need "fixing," or by being enmeshed in situations that are chaotic, uncertain and emotionally painful, we avoid focusing on our responsibility to ourselves.
14. We may have a tendency towards episodes of depression, which we try to forestall through the excitement provided by an unstable relationship.
15. We are not attracted to people who are kind, stable, reliable and interested in us. We find such "nice" people boring.
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The Promises of Recovery from Relationship Addiction (Robin Norwood)
1. We accept ourselves fully, even while
wanting to change parts of ourselves. There is a basic self-love and self-regard, which we
carefully nurture and purposefully expand.
2. We accept others as they are without trying to change them to meet our needs.
3. We are in touch with our feelings and attitudes about every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality.
4. We cherish every aspect of ourselves: our personalities, our appearances, our beliefs and values, our bodies, our interests and accomplishments. We validate ourselves rather than searching for a relationship to give us a sense of self-worth.
5. Our self-esteem is great enough that we can enjoy being with other people who are fine just as they are. We do not need to be needed in order to feel worthy.
6. We allow ourselves to be open and trusting with appropriate people. We are not afraid to be known at a deeply personal level, but we also do not expose ourselves to the exploitation of those who are not interested in our well-being.
7. We question, "Is this relationship good for me? Does it enable me to grow into all I am capable of being?"
8. When a relationship is destructive, we are able to let go of it without experiencing disabling depression. We have a circle of supportive friends and healthy interests to see ourselves through crises.
9. We value our own serenity above all else. All the struggles, drama and chaos of the past have lost their appeal. We are protective of ourselves, our health and well-being.
10. We know that a relationship, in order to work, must be between partners who share similar values, interests and goals, and who each has a capacity for healthy intimacy. We also know that we are worthy of the best that life has to offer.
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