Fade in.

NBC headquarters. A four-person meeting is happening.

George: "It's a gift. I can spell anyone's last name. D - A - L - R - I - M - P - L - E."

Russell: "Not even close."

George: "Is there a Y in there?"

Russell: "No."

Audience laughter.

Susan: "We know about Keith's writing from the Summer League web site, have you done any writing George?"

George: (nervously) "I ... wrote ... a play. An off-broadway play. 'La Cocina.' Well, it was off-off broadway, ... about a Spanish chef."

Keith: "And what was the name of your chef?"

George: "Pepe."

Keith: "Yes, Pepe. I remember this one kitchen scene that was hilarious. George, what was that scene again?"

Susan: "There was actually cooking on stage?"

George: "No, he mimed it. That's what was so funny."

Russell: "So anyway, tell us about this show your pitching to us."

Keith: "I'd be in it, playing a guy who does web development, living in Mundelein, there'd be my brothers, a friend, some of their friends ..."

George: (interrupts) "I think I can sum up our idea in three words ... 'nothing' and 'computer baseball.'"

Russell: "Nothing? What does that mean nothing?"

George: "What did you do today?"

Russell: "I got up and came to work."

George: "Add a computer in your office with baseball software on it ... that's a show, there's a show."

Russell: "That's not a show."

Keith: "Maybe something happened on the way to work."

George: "No. Nothing happened."

Susan: "What are the stories?"

George: "No stories. Just guys playing games together. Sometimes over the Internet. A Mexican guy like Aurelio talking about 'salsa' and 'seltzer' all the time. Maybe all of us thinking about baseball."

Russell: "You're going to show people thinking about baseball?"

George: "Yes."

Russell: "And why am I watching?"

George: "Because it's on TV!"

Russell: "Not yet."

George stands up, walks toward Russell.

George: "Look, you can keep putting on the same tired old shows, or you can do our show about nothing and computer baseball. Because that is our show. I am not going to compromise my artistic integrity!"

George walks out.

Keith: "Ok, here's our real pitch. I manage a circus ..."

Audience laughter.

Russell: (interrupts) "No. I like the computer baseball theme. What kind of stories could you come up with?"

Keith: "... Well, ... that 'Survivor' show was a big hit. We could incorporate that premise into the Summer League. We play for the Spit Cup, which is similar to a million dollar prize."

Russell: "Tell me about the characters."

Keith: "They'd be Summer League managers, acting just like the 'Survivor' cast. First, there'd be Graham Haas. He'd be like Gervase, the one the media called the 'lazy ass.' Graham is perfect for the part, at least according to the emails Greg sent documenting his preparation habits for playing SL games."

Susan: "Would you have a Ken Klein character?"

Keith: "One of our league founders? It wouldn't be the Summer League without Ken. He'd be kinda like the chick Stacey who ate bugs when the group needed him to so that everyone would survive, because Ken made some draft picks while on vacation so our draft would keep moving. But just like the bug-eating chick, he fell down during a challenge and everyone on the Tribal Council forgot about his sacrifices and voted him off the playoff island. And Ken would be perfect for the show because first he was a great alliance-maker, then a back-stabber -- at least that's what Bob Taterka says about Ken and his drafting of Turk Wendell.

Audience laughter.

Russell: "Wasn't there a guy on the show who was real religious?"

Susan: "Yes ... his name was Dirk."

Keith: "Dave Basler is a preacher's son ... he's our Dirk. I read where Dirk said his fellow castaways were intimidated by the strength his Christianity gave him -- the same thing we all said about Dave behind his back."

Susan: "One of the characters I liked on 'Survivor' was the neurologist Sean. He was so handsome."

Keith: "Sounds like Joe Hauser."

Susan "Hmmm ... I just read the Sean bio on survivorsucks.com -- 'Highest priorities: Attainment of celebrity status and a silky smooth chest.'"

Keith: "If that's not Joe Hauser, then I don't know what is."

Audience laughter.

Russell: "What about the major characters?"

Keith: "Bob Taterka is really a minor SL character, very little significance to outcome of the league ..."

Russell and Susan: (together) "like Jar Jar Binks."

Keith: "Exactly! But I guess he can have a bigger role in our series. Bob plays the role of real well. I'm thinking like that 'Survivor' character Susan, the final episode's speechmaker. Like her, Bob was eliminated pretty late in the game. I can see him standing up all pissed off and revealing his feelings that Greg is a very openly arrogant, pompous human being, but one he admires for being forthright about it. After his speech goes on and on and on, he finally finishes with a flourish. Something along the lines of, 'think about the two kinds of animals that are on this island. There's really only two kinds, snakes and rats. We have Greg the snake, who always knew he was after prey, and we have Chris, who became the rat. I feel we owe it to the island's spirits that we have learned to come to know ... to let it be in the end the way that Mother Nature intended it to be, for the snake to eat the rat.'"

Russell: "I can't believe anything like that would ever be said on television."

Keith: "Isn't it better than him saying, 'I love you guys' all the time?"

Russell and Susan: (together) "Anything would be better than that."

Audience laughter.

Keith: "I suppose I'd be a major character, maybe like Jenna. She couldn't lie or backstab, and after it all, she could live with herself, which is the important part. I couldn't handle the duplicity of alliances I was forced to make in SL 2000, and when survival was on the line in game 7 of the playoffs, I lost big time.

Susan: "Jenna was a likeable character ... you're a likeable character. I can see that."

Keith: "And let's see ... there's gotta be a Steve character. Maybe his character would be like Rudy."

Russell: "What similarities are there between a retired Navy SEAL and a guy who's late for everything SL-related?"

Keith: "Rudy's a crotchetty old man, Steve would walk around in crotchless pants."

Russell: "This is NBC, not cable."

Keith: "Ok ... maybe Steve just has holes in his shirt and keeps showing everyone the holes?"

Russell: "That sounds pretty unbelievable."

Keith: "Maybe ... I don't know ... Rudy's been called 'sort of a Sgt. Carter meets Archie Bunker,' while Steve is more 'John Goodman meets Norm Crosby' -- but I'll work on that. I do know that at the beginning of the episodes, no one thought Rudy had a chance. But somehow, someway, just like Swinea, he was one of the final four. And I bet if you asked Rudy to pronounce 'Garciaparra,' he would do it with more difficulty than Steve."

Audience laughter.

Russell: "Tell me about the finalists."

Keith: "Have to be a Chris Klein character. He'd be the runner-up, like the girl Kelly. Chris makes a tactical move in voting the Swinea/Rudy character off the playoff island, only to lose the final vote to Nims."

Susan: "Nims?"

Keith: "Greg Nims. Of course, he's our Richard Hatch. Just like with Richard, bad things have been said about Greg in the media, and the audience was rooting against him, but he was the grand prize winner. End of discussion."

Russell: "Wow! That sounds like some great television. Mr. Klein, I think you have a deal."

Keith: "Great!"

Russell: "Just make sure that in 'Survivor II: The SL 2001 Sequel,' we have the Keith character win."

Keith: "That's a foregone conclusion."

Keith, Susan and Russell laugh.